handjob tips. give me some.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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