i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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