my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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