I wish i was in the wii world.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
bring money and cleavage
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
