its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
