ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
