oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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