Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Randomize
Follow @tfln