Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

rhymes with "ouble enetration"

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(323): rhymes with "ouble enetration" http://tfl.nu/bg50

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(678): View more from Georgia

Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable

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(678): Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable http://tfl.nu/zwpt

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(970): View more from Colorado

Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly

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(970): Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly http://tfl.nu/eo7f

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(330): View more from Ohio

The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.

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(330): The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31. http://tfl.nu/ugns

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(607): View more from New York

flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final

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(607): flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final http://tfl.nu/3a2h

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(305): View more from Florida

He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.

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(305): He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so. http://tfl.nu/ttes

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(404): View more from Georgia

Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably

(1-404): View more from Georgia

No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars

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(404): Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably (1-404): No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars http://tfl.nu/q62q

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(224): View more from Illinois

I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.

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(224): I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/1jen

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(260): View more from Indiana

I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.

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(260): I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops. http://tfl.nu/sp9a

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.

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(505): Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming. http://tfl.nu/efp8

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(720): View more from Colorado

I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.

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(720): I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else. http://tfl.nu/ss1v

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(707): View more from California

is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??

(408): View more from California

your beer goggles are on backwards.

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(707): is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive?? (408): your beer goggles are on backwards. http://tfl.nu/ojnh

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(517): View more from Michigan

It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair

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(517): It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair http://tfl.nu/cxxw

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(312): View more from Illinois

Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?

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(312): Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!? http://tfl.nu/obq2

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.

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(203): Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life. http://tfl.nu/hv3j

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