first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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