dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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