I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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