I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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