Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
