actually, I'm a sock model
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
