Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
