I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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