Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
