I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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