dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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