i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
