I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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