I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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