smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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