Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
