i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
