Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
