My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
