Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
