im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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