one two three fourrrrnication!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
