I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
