where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I will pee on everything he values.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
