I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
