smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
