my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
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No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
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I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?