Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?