question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket