Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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