So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
