if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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