My liver just broke up with me...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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