If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
