thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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