Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
