Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize