the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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