Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
