Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
