i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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