I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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