On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
