wrigley field is MILF paradise
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
