Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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