can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
