Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
