I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize