I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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