I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
