She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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