Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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