Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
