The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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