its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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