I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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