so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
