Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
