So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
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I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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