My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
