dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
