He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize