their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Nobody cheats on THIS.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
